Rope Walk: Recovery on Silks – by Jessica Glazer
ML’s self image was shattered a few years ago after she was sexually assaulted. She had been a competitive athlete, but after the assault she felt like her body failed her and she had failed her body. Then she discovered silks and everything changed.
Transcript :
The drops are really scary and really fun. So right now I know one drop, which is called the Full Monty, because it can sometimes take your pants off if you’re pants are too loose. It feels so graceful. It’s like you’re flying, sometimes it feels like you’re dancing.
My original goal was to find a way to be healthy in my body. And it’s turned into so much more. I’ve never felt actually as connected to my body as I do now, even before the assault.
I used to see my body, in some ways, almost like a weapon, like I wanted to be a better soccer player than boys. Or faster. That’s not a priority for me anymore. I want to be an artist with my body.
I was sexually assaulted a few years ago. After the incident I felt a very strong disconnection from my body. Almost like I didn’t belong in my body or have a body. So I decided that I really needed to do something that would get me back into my body.
What was difficult for me at the beginning is that you are being controlled by the silks, like, your hands are often wrapped and it feels like someone is grabbing your wrists and that was a really strong connection in my mind. But in some ways it gave me a sense of total control. Because now if someone, if I feel a pressure in my wrist, I think of it as, I’m doing silks, not Ah, this terrifying thing is happening to me.
And that’s been something that has changed since silks. I don’t look at my body as something that can be hurt now.
That’s the most amazing thing. When I’m up in the air, I’m ok with looking sexy and I’m ok with looking beautiful. In fact, that my goal, that’s why I’m doing it. So it’s really fun to get to enjoy that.
more info:
ML’s self image was shattered a few years ago after she was sexually assaulted. She had been a competitive athlete, but after the assault she felt like her body failed her and she had failed her body. Then she discovered silks and everything changed.
DESCRIPTION: One event can dismantle your life, but only if you let it. After ML was raped a few years ago, she felt differently about herself and her body. She didn’t want to feel sexy and draw attention to her body. ML, a high school teacher, had been a competitive athlete, but after the incident she felt disconnected to her body; she wasn’t hungry and she stopped exercising. (She asked that her full name not be used so that her students can’t Google her.) Then, a friend suggested she take a silks, or acrobatic, class with him in Brooklyn.
At first, feeling the silks wrap around her wrists and her ankles brought her back to that night; she had physical flashbacks that shook her. After the third class, she confessed to the instructor, Laura Witwer, what she was going through and was faced with support. After a few classes, she began to feel in control of the silks, freed by them. For ML, silks has given her the opportunity to reconnect with her body. She doesn’t try to be the best and compete, but to instead be artful with her body. Silks is challenging; you need a lot of core strength, but ML is learning. “I get so excited on the train each week heading to class,” she said.